i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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