No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
