ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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