the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
