The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
