My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
