i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
