So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
