He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
