I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
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