I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
