thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
this just has baby written all over it
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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