Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
