11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
