just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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