Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
