I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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