so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
