I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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