Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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