My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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