haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize