So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My ass is underappreciated
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
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