Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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