Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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