why didn't you poke me back
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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