she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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