so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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