i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
