I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
