her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
