I bet he comes in French.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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