I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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