So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
