i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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