I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Someone signed my nipple.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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