she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
