you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
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Do I have a choice?
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I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Two words: nipple clamps
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