He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You've changed since you got that strap on
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
