we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
