my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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