Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
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