I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
