I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
