i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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