so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize