I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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