it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
