i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
