Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
