btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
