wanna go halves on a baby?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
