how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize