Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
